This is one of my chapters of my memoir due to be published in 2023. This chapter is entitled:
I found/rediscovered my wife but....
Part 1:
ok so the story goes....4,5,6 months ago(at this point now it is 9,10months), I went hanging out with one of X's co workers and her friend one night with Keynote. We met them at Exit and tried to get in around 130 am but they were charging $40. So we about faced and called them and told them we were not going to be getting in . They told us to wait because it was already 2am and they were ready for a different venue. (It was de co worker's birthday, (A-mone is her name). So we jumped in the BAGmobile and headed over to a lil spot on houston. .
When the ladies jumped in the BAGmobile, one said, 'who lap am I sitting on?' Thats when I knew it was gonna be an interesting night....So we were trading jokes back and forth in the coche as we drove. Apparently, I said something that did not go over too well because one of the two girlies got quiet. (which one u ask?, ..the one I was playing man D on)...
So we hop out the BAGmobile at the spot on Houston and I start over, mad quietly, asking homegirl about her self and interests and junk as we walked to the spot. (we parked 5,6 blocks away). She start to open back up and I slipped in a few jokes here and there.
We get up in the spot after waiting outside for a while because the trinity was in front of the spot (FDNY, NYPD & EMS). It was a cold, fall night so the halfway drunk gals had to pee and we lobbied to get them inside so they could urinate. So while they were inside I made a comment to Keynote like, "Yo dis could de baddest joint I ever had dropped in my lap"(dats not verbatim). He laughed in agreement (Me & Keynote has had many adventures in this film called Life; many good, but way too many bad).
So after the trinity pushed a stretcher out with a dude leaking all out his brain, we goes inside and get it poppin. Almost immediately gals get drinks in dem courtesy of X and the DJ puts on the tunes. I peep shorty dancing for like .3 songs and decide for me to "GO IN". So I creep up on shorty so she see me comin. She makes a 'lets see what u got face'. So I pulls up my pantalones and give her the best diddybop I had in my body at dat point, and shorty is lovin it. DJ taking folks back and threw on 2,3 of her personal favorites cuz homegirl is throwing it on me soo bad I had to apologize to her. I told her, 'she can dip it low if she want, but my knee joints are not gonna allow me to rock. So when she bring it back up, I will be right here waiting on it'. She looks at me and I say, 'Im serious' and she cracks up. She says OK and proceeds to make my eyes water from utter elation. We dance it out for 45 minutes, give or take 15 minutes, then it was time to go.
We go outside and all of a sudden I become Chris rock/ Redd Foxx / Eddie Murphy/ Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor reincarnate because I got these girls falling all over the ground in laughter. Chatel, literally, is so tipsy that she is finding every 2 statements I utter so funny she partially collapses to the ground. We are walkin back to the BAGmobile as we stop in Dunkin Donuts to get de drunken sisters some water. While the boyz are in de store, we got A-mone simultaneously vomiting and telling jokes next to a car bumper and Chatel still laughing. Finally me and Chatel get to the car and we start towards Amy Ruth's. For the first time in a while, the night is going my way. We hit a sick traffic jam @ like 330am. Someone decided to play bumper cars with the wall. Needless to say we were bumper to bumper traffic for 20 minutes or so. Where was I u ask? All over the legs of a one Ms Chatel and telling jokes as A-mone tries to give Chatel some water, which was full of her backwash.
At Amy Ruth's, the drunkenness started to wear off and it was easy to see that both ladies were starting to feel very embarrassed about their current state. I was proud of them actually. No one threw up in the BAGmobile. No one threw up on themselves. No one was complaining about dumb stuff. I was happy to be with them at this hour after all we had been through.
So Amy Ruth's is basically a blurr to my sober self but we made plans to all get up for some other hang out session and I reminded them that my birthday falls in January and me and Ms Chatel need to figure sumthin out and she said sure. I seen the homie from the block that run with DJ Will & DJ Self and dem Union boys. I forget his name right now. He gives me the 'good job' head nod. I nod right back appreciating the acknowledgment.
We leave and head to de Bx and eventually after a nap, we figure out the plan. I 'take one for the team and drive the ladies back to Queens (damn near local streets after the bridge because they could not give me the most time efficient directions. They gave me the opposite since it took me 1/3 the time to get home as it did). Now I noticed Chatel was mad quiet and sat in de backseat of the car on the way to Queens so for some idiotic reason I took her silence and passiveness over the last few hours as being uninterested. So you all know I can be a recalcitrant dude when I want to. So in my head Im getting myself more hyped I was like "yoo I brought this girl mad joy , mad laughter, mad smiles, a great night and she not gonna say anything OR give me her number". I said this to myself mad times durin the drive so I was convinced it was her fault and I am perfect and a genius on all levels. So I drops them off and I give them the quick 'im out'. Mind u, I had only slept like 2 hours in the last 24, so looking back on it, I was probably a bit cranky.
Mind u, I was not sweating the situation because we all had a great time the night before and me and my dudes go out at least once every 2 weeks somewhere. So I just knew I was going to see those ladies within the next 2,3 weeks. I figured everyone unmarried and young in NYC goes out at least twice a month.
Boy did I figure wrong.Part2:
Roughly 20 weeks later..........
So Sunday night @ Branch, I am in the spot making the rounds. So it is a good night cuz we got in out of the cold real easy like, bouncers were cool. I see the homie Keynote runnin with Lil Jamaica. I see the homie AntG. and his 3 boyz. I say whatup to Jarred and Dale(who had no broads with him for the first time ever). The 3 kings Aden, Elkhair and BabzBunny were already in the house. The homie Loe H. makes his way in the building. Tayo B and Dub rode with me up in the spot.
So I am tossing banter back and forth with Keynote and he say "Yo suhn I see sumthin that just walked in the door that is gonna F ya head up". Excited and perplexed, I turn and see A-mone and before I get to place where I know her from, I see her friend Chatel.
Now pardon the fluidity of the story but have u ever been so happily, pleasantly surprised out of the blue that you were speechless. In awe, shock /amazement? Well if you could bottle all three of those up thats what I felt at that moment. I immediately started giggling like I won the lottery. Chatel walk up to me on some 'hiiiiii'. I honestly dont know if I ever even responded verbally. I opened up my arms like an infant who could no speak and she hugged me up and gave me the beso on the cheek. I still dont know if I comprehended the situation. I think I might have thought I was dreaming on some 'daydream' type stuff.
Since I was with Keynote, who was with Big Trinica, Chatel asked "is she with you guys?" I said yeah yeah dats.....ummm Doe(sumtimes I 4get her real name). She introduces herself as I did the touchdown dance behind Chatel. I think I had the rapid heartbeat joint poppin off. I still cannot remember what the heck happened next. I was sooo in awe/ shock I think I turned and ran to my homie Loe H. like 'suhn ohmyGsus!' and then ran back. We exchanged some more pleasantries and I literally fell back.
She was with a group of 5,6 people that included 1 or 2 dudes. (I always scout the potential opposition before I leave a scene). So she went to the bar with A-mone to take advantage of the 2 for 1 drink special. I went and told the first story to as many of my peoples as I could because I was sooooooooooooo happy on some lil, homeless kid waking up Xmas morning to find an Xbox, a race car and a Costco bag of Skittles in a brand new house.
SO you all know me, I knew I was loookin mad super sprung(or so I thought) so I faded to the back for mad long. I had de homie Loe H. over on the opposite wall filling him in on mad different stuff about how I almost told this other broad to come thru to the shindig to 2 step it out with me and other issues and junk. So the party gets mad crowded, so I try to play it mad cool on some Imma let her breathe but as soon as I see the first varmit step to her on the dance floor Imma scoop her right up when she done with him.
I see the varmit get his 1, maybe 2, songs in so I moved in, on some when she cut him loose imma make the 'fumble recovery and try to take it to the house'. So I manuever over and I see she is loose. I slide thru with the hand and grab her arm ever so gently and motioned for her to come hither.(oh yeah,fyi, ya boy was hype) Mad people were there like who does this fool think he is?...I laughed because the cockiness spewed forth from my veins into this move. She looked like 'who is grabbing my arm?' she traced the arm back to the torso and looked at me like 'ohhhhh yeah . ok.' She smiles and looks down as she walks over to me. At this point, I did another touchdown dance in my head.
All I could tell myself was 'please!, dont no one start fighting and shoot the club up.' Now we gettin it in, 2 steping it out and I am doing my best not to cheese all in her face. (I aint really describe her but she has some ridiculous color eyes that in de lounge made me feel like was on drugs. Hazel, or Light brown, I dont even really know.(coulda be green). So she catch me staring at her and she smile mad big again den she starts laffing. She asked me ' U ok?' Then in my greatest Snopp Dogg from Deep Cover impression, Im like 'hellllll yeah.' She cracks up. another song or 2 comes on and she starts slightly pointing at her self and thought she said 'do u want my loins?' (OK maybe I didnot think that but I definitely wanted her to say that) she was sayin u think u ready for the back? I said sumthin like 'lemme take a deep breath first'. she cracks up and proceeds to turn around give me the business mad elegantly. no bending over(well 90 degrees at least). no hands on the wall(for leverage , of course). just 'pure grown woman flexin'. Needless to say, I was elated. I remembered to take a peek from her to scan the crowd for onlookers/ envious evildoers. The homie KDaton came thru and I dapped him up along with Listenear. I told Chatel, 'pardon me thems my homies from the highschool days. 'U want to go catch up?', she asked. 'With them?', I said, 'Nahhhh u stay right here.'
She makes this ohsnap/Im blushing face and I proceeded to give her the best that I had at the moment. My knees have been thru many battles over 'Life'. But they were holdin me DOWN right then. So I am guessing an hour and change has passed by when she says 'yo u tired?' I say 'heelllllllllllllllllll yeah. ' She says 'why u aint tell me?' I said 'woman I was tired since last week, i suk it up'. She cracks up and says lets take a break. she points behind me and wants me to lead her out the crowd to the side/bar area. So Im like 'hmmm she wants me to lead her?' SO I turns knowing I will be creating a small scene by taking the gal's hand but F it though. She bad. So we walks thru the packed tight crowd to the bar.
Once we reached the bar, I told her 'Before I or we do anything else lemme get ya phone number". She turns around mad slow from the bar (she was preparing to order a drink) and says...'Umm Im moving back to Alabama in 2 weeks, for good.' I screamed out "What?!" Actually, I did a lil more than that. I slammed my fist on the bar and closed my eyes and sucked my teeth and realized that this is what I get for being soft.
So when I came to, I asked her 'Why?' She said the cost of living is way too much in NY and she has been struggling for mad long. (Alabama I already knew made sense for her because she told me before that she went to school down there and her twin sister is still down there.) Just then I realized that I was mad at everything involved with anything. I paid for her drink and stared at the television screen. Speechless for the second time that night. Im not sure what we chit chatted about but a few minutes later she says "Im going to go look for A-mone Are u going to be ok?" I said 'huh, yeah Imma be aight. Imma look 4 u in a while.'
I walks around de club mad confused and a lil tight. Tight for 2 reasons. One because I just rediscovered my wife and she told me she leaving me. The second reason was because I needed a plan B in the club and I could not find any available young ladies to 'take the pain away.'
I run into A-mone, who could not find Chatel. I tell her I just left her. I proceed to tell A-mone that Chatel just told me that she was moving back to Alabama. A-mone looked at me mad tenderly and said yeaahhhh. I did my best Roc Emerson impression and kicked at the floor and yelled "DATS WACK!!" A-mone looked startled at first but she laffed and said I know.
So I roll thru the club chit chattin here and there getting more bothered by the lack of buttocks in de club. So it is time to go and I see Chatel and de crew she came in wit finally slowing down from partying. I got my coat on to make it obvious Im leaving. I walk over and I see A-mone. She and I exchange hugs and I tell her im out and it was good to see her. Chatel sees me and damn near jumps up out of the seat(it was de semi circle type seating arrangements where you have to tell ya neighbor to let you out so u can slide by). She is cheesing and goes, 'oh oh oh'. She grabs me up and goes' yo it was soo good to meet u' Mind u she is staring all in my eyes at the moment. So u know me when I am around pretty eyed broads, I aint even really comprehending much and could verbalize even less. I told her likewise and good luck in Alabama. She kisses me on the cheek mad fast like 3,4 times. And she compliments me on my smile and I could only muster up a "jus trying to keep up with you'. . . As we parted, I once again turned into Roc Emerson. I damn near yelled for Joey.
this concludes this portion of I found/rediscovered my wife but....memoirs from ya boy Em Aye Es....feedback is appreciated. my soul weeps still.
word.
